One day in August, I quit my job and used up all my savings of 20 years to get an airplane ticket and for the first time boarded on a flight to the United States. When the airplane was out of sight of the land I loved and hated at the same time, I did feel a mystical vibration.

For my whole life everything was assigned to me. It is both a blessing and curse. My first job as a factory worker was assigned to me. I finally escaped from it by taking exams to enter a famous university, which was located in a provincial capital. After graduation I was assigned to work back in my hometown. The first escape failed.

Then I took more exams to get into a graduate school in the biggest city in China, and I was tossed back to my hometown again after I got my masters degree. The second escape failed.

All my nightmares were about I was still working in the factory after I had read so many books and got all the degrees, and I was horrified. I was like a kite which could never freely fly and like a prisoner who could never escape from those high walls successfully. I was pulling my own hair trying to leave the earth but every try was denied by the gravity. Then I took more difficult exams and got accepted by University of Hawaii as a Ph.D student. I had lost the excitements for the first two times when I was accepted by famous institutions, because I was not sure about those escapes any more, but I knew I would keep trying and never give up, especially after I had my daughter. I did not want my daughter to have the same nightmares as I had. Preparing those exams were my only chances to transcend my surroundings, just like digging a tunnel leading to a brave new world.

When my journey started, I was fearless because I had nothing to lose except the last $200 dollars left in my pocket. As calm as a cucumber and as tough as a nail, I, armed with my intelligence, was traveling to the unknown and uncertainty, without a roadmap, because nobody would assign one for me this time. For better or worse, it was my own choice.

I had two huge luggages which included all the necessities for me to survive if I was dropped in a wild island, including a long rope and a sharp knife. I did landed on a beautiful island, but it was also a civilized modern city. One of the friends of my friend picked me up from the airport and sent me to the University of Hawaii. With these almost valueless personal properties, I came to the International Student Services to register. People there were surprised to see me and my luggage. Obviously it was not the common practice. The international student adviser asked me why I brought my luggage there; I told her that I did not know what to do and where to go. She asked me how much money I had and I told her I had $200, and she told me that was not enough for one month rent in Hawaii but she would help me.

To be continued…